Candid money talk improves relationship

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman Grace Lee
  • 56th Fighter Wing Public Affairs
LUKE AIR FORCE BASE, Arizona --  There are many reasons why people divorce but at the top of the list are lack of communication and finances. That's why it's important to combine these two topics to make for a successful, long-lasting relationship.

"I believe communication is very important in a relationship overall and communication about money is at the top of the list," said Cory Carmichael, 56th Force Support Squadron Airman and Family Readiness Center community readiness specialist. "If you look at unsuccessful relationships, many times those are the causes."

Talk about finances and future financial goals before marriage.

"It's important to talk about finances and where you are financially before saying 'I do' because no one wants a surprise like that after getting married," Carmichael said.

For those who are in a serious relationship or contemplating marriage, it is in their best interest to be 100-percent truthful with their partner regarding their money situation, according to Vickie Muniz, 56th FSS A&FRC community readiness specialist.

"Lying or hiding important information can be just as serious as an extramarital affair. In fact, some financial counselors refer to this as financial infidelity. Not being upfront about it or finding out after getting married can spell trouble for the future of the relationship."

While it may not be appropriate to bring up finances on the first date, if things are getting serious it may be something worth talking about.

"You owe it to your partner to be open and express your values," said Muniz. "You can also help yourself by looking at how the person you're dating handles money -- is she a spender, or does he buy expensive clothes he can't afford. This gives you an idea of how the future could look with this person. These things should be discussed."

Talking about life goals is essential.

"I think honest communication again is very important -- discussing children, where to live and long-term goals are just a few of the subjects to cover," Carmichael said. "Finding these things out now can help you determine if the relationship is going to work."

For those who are married and having financial related issues, it is not too late.

"If your goals as a couple are not being met, there is plenty of financial assistance available," Carmichael said. "Assistance is available at the A&FRC."

For more information, call the A&FRC at 623-856-6550